Assertiveness and Confidence Building

What is the definition of Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. It is important that depending on our moods and emotions in certain situations, especially within the working environment, we need to see how it effects our level of assertiveness.

Being realistic, aggressive or passive communication is stressful and generally someone ends up feeling humiliated and threatened. However, with assertive communication you are acknowledging the other persons feelings and desires while finding the best solution for both parties in the situation.

Making sure you and your organisation use assertive communication will result in very little stress and positive results every time.

What are the three components of Assertiveness?

  • Words and Phrases – developing speech habits that convey strength yet avoiding words that are too passive or aggressive but are always polite and respectful to both parties.
  • Body Language – ensuring you use proper posture including, hand gestures, handshake, eye contact, facial expression, proximity and orientation.
  • Voice Tones – making sure you use the proper volume, (how loud or soft) the proper pitch, (how shrill or base) the proper pace (How fast or slow) and the proper emphasis.

Being assertive is very important, it helps you and your team to develop relationships both personally and within the business. It leads to trust and being trustworthy in your communication builds great connections. 

What is assertive communication style?

Assertive communication is something that we should all strive to apply. By doing so you meet your own needs as well as the needs of others. However, is it easy to form this style of speech? No, it isn’t. And that is why we need simple steps to improve our assertive communication skills.

  1. Let your confidence and self-belief increase
  2. Develop your emotional intelligence
  3. Listen
  4. Stay calm

Being assertive is good for both parties. If you communicate wisely, both people can get what they would like out of a situation. Having an assertive behaviour will show that both are brave enough to stand up for themselves and are in control of what they are saying and how you say it. Finding the balance between clearly stating your needs and giving the other person the option also to do the same will mean both parties benefit and feel happy with the result.

What are the 3 C’s of Assertive Communication?

  1. Confidence – believing in your ability to handle a situation.
  2. Clear – a clear and easy to understand message.
  3. Controlled – you deliver information in a calm and controlled manner.

However, in order to have an assertive behaviour, both parties must be willing to let go of the need to please everyone and do things according to their expectations. It’s important to be ok with saying what you want out of a situation but doing it in such a way that doesn’t hurt the other person.

A good way to do this may be instead of just rejecting something that isn’t a good outcome for you, to explain why. If you give strong reasons as to your decision, no one will be upset that you gave them a negative answer.

So, what are the benefits of being assertive?

  1. Better Communication
  2. More Trust
  3. Less Stress
  4. More Confidence

So, what is the secret?

The secret to effective communication and forming good relationships is for both parties to be thoughtful of the other person and listening intently to what they want to say. Its important to ensure that you and your organisation don’t let your mind get distracted as doing so shows disrespect and can cause a loss of focus resulting in passive/aggressive communication.

It is true that developing assertive communication skills can and will take some practice…, but we provide an interactive, engaging training course on the topic of assertiveness and confidence building. Are you or your business interested? Accept it as a challenge and see the benefit of its application both personally and within the working environment. Fewer arguments, more positive and peaceful atmosphere’s, an increase in confidence, less stress… etc.

This course will help you or your team to assess your own emotions and moods and how it affects their levels of confidence and assertiveness. You will also be motivated to remove negative emotions through rational thoughts. We will help each individual build their confidence and display true assertiveness both inside and outside the working environment.

  • Do you want to: Define Confidence & Assertiveness
  • Clarify the difference between assertiveness and aggression
  • Understand the key elements of Confidence
  • Recognise negative triggers that reduce confidence
  • Understand their own emotions, mood patterns and associated behaviour
  • Examine the role rational thought has to play in controlling our emotions
  • Summarise habits that serve to build confidence
  • Understand the importance of manifesting confidence and assertiveness within an employability context

For more details on our assertiveness course click here – If you are interested in taking the course, contact us on 01933 678110 or email us at

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